So here is my new theory..........which incidentally I passed by a stressed cashier last week and he totally thought it made sense, so I could be on to something.
The more we are able to "receive" what comes our way, rather than "resist", the less stress we will feel...and I think we can all agree that being less stressed is a better way to live!
I try to remain aware, so that when I start to feel I am on the defense, I quickly turn it around. When feeling defensive regardless of what anyone says to me you can be pretty sure my response will be sourly negative and maybe even nasty. Now I know what the people who know me are thinking: "Maria nasty? You've got to be kidding" and then there are a tiny few...ok hopefully only a couple of you who really know me are thinking "yeah Maria can get nasty all right."
Negativity can certainly build and create a thick defensive layer, which over time pushes people away. If it's natural to resist what comes our way, nothing can ever land on a soft welcoming place.
Here is what I try to do when I find myself defensive and resisting the moment:
Shrug my shoulders a few times to release the stress in my neck
Silently ask myself "is this really something to get worked up about?"
Take a few deep cleansing breaths
Ask myself "will this matter tomorrow?"
Consider what the other person is going through, that has resulted in them saying or doing something to me that is hurtful or discouraging
.........if none of the above seems to help, I revert to something my amazing nephew taught me.
"When in an uncomfortable situation, to break the tension, simply say...
I love Unicorns!"