Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Bermuda Anxiety Celebration...........

As we stood in line to get our boarding passes, I could feel my eyes starting to fill with tears. When we reached the ticket counter, I was at the point of trying to steady by my quivering lower lip. When asked by the very welcoming JetBlue attendant, how I was doing today, tears were rolling down my face.

Here's what you need to know: This trip to Bermuda was 25 years in the making for me, which translated means, for both my husband and I. My hurdles and obstacles with anxiety become his, because they limit and play a role in our lives. 

Boarding the plane to Bermuda two weeks ago I was walking towards my future way of living and leaving behind the aspects of my Life that have held me/us back. Initially I thought the tears were all for fear of getting on the plane, but when I really stopped to feel the emotion, I realized it was truly a rush of many feelings ~ personal hard work, great appreciation that he has patiently stayed along for this wild ride for the last 25 years and loving the joy we have known, and that we were at this point to take an amazing trip ....oh and for sure, many of the tears were for fear of flying too.

Throughout the years of writing my blog, I have shared that one of my reasons for writing is to offer my aha! moments in the hopes that it validates, encourages, comforts and eases moments for others. The relaying of my experiences of living in the moment, gratitude and my struggles along the way, is to serve as a reminder, that you are not alone. We are all working on something.

There is a component for me that involved getting to the point of wanting to make changes in my Life. "Putting off" had gone on long enough. I was not going to let inner obstacles hold me back any longer. Soul searching and embarking on new paths started a few years ago for me, coupled by this year making a "viking oath" on New Year's Eve with friends that I WOULD make the changes in myself that I wanted to see.  (Thank you Mariann!)

I'm not saying it's a "new me" or that I have overcome the things that held me back..... I know better than to think fears and hard times disappear. (If they did we would never grow) What I know to be true is....at this time in my Life I am taking on the challenging & overwhelming obstacles I live with and making memories to last a lifetime.

So today Dear Readers I share this little reminder with big results, that when Life gets tricky and struggles are many, hard work and perseverance will lead to triumphs and tears....and keep you motivated to keep on going. 

Sharing one more piece before I sign off. I am excited to say that I am putting a voice to my blog!! I will be presenting a Connect With Your Life talk at two locations in October. I will share tips and techniques that I incorporate into my day that help me, reduce stress, strive for inner peace, live in the moment and the advantages I find of seeing the glass half full. Hope you can join me on either, Thursday, October 16th at the Cumberland Library  or on Monday, October 27th at the Weaver Library in East Providence. Both begin at 6:30 pm. 

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and as always feel free to email me if you like.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Cheers To 25 Years!!!!

Sharing a post that I published 2 years ago. The message still holds true as I celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary this week. There has just been another 2 years of working on it (our marriage that is) and reaping the benefits with a man who still rocks my world!  Here's a picture from our engagement. Such youngins' we were!!

With our family and friends around us, my husband of three and a half hours held me in his arms, in a way that made me feel so protected and safe. We danced to our very special song...all was right in my world!  I was confident and certain I knew it all...or so I thought at the time. Looking back there was so much I did not know on my wedding day.

As we approach our twenty third wedding anniversary next weekend, I reflect on what I have learned since that special day so long ago.  

In the kitchen department, I learned pure lemon juice is not a marinade for chicken, and that keeping a full sugar bowl on the top ledge of the stove is a little tippsie and not a great idea. (especially when you are taking pizza out of the oven) Oh and I also learned that typically turkey is cooked breast side up....who knew?!

With the birth of our sons, I learned you have to super focus through the blur of happy tears to see their beautiful faces that first moment they are placed in your arms. I learned of a tenderness for these precious beings, that I never knew existed. 

Over the years, I have learned that love can strengthen in a marriage as a result of the ups and downs that come along the way.....and being "in it" together. That a closeness develops over those times,  and truly bonds. I have learned that compromise, listening and respect are key ingredients in making that love grow. We thought we were so in love when we got married...and we were.....it was just a different kind of love. I also found out how amazing it feels to know that someone believes in me so strongly, and supports me in all of my endeavors. I am Blessed !

The list could go on and on, because every day I feel there is something new I could add.

I think back to that first dance, as we whispered the words of our song to each other and know in my heart that they still hold true today.....because Mark, you are my....One In A Million!

Monday, September 1, 2014

Happy New Year To You............

Its in the air...can you feel it???...September and all it's splendor, how it offers a sense of new......sense of rebirth...a sense of fresh start. It's that back to school, seasons are changing energy I'm feeling. I like to think of it as a time to jump into something new...New Years in September perhaps.

However, if you are not feeling it, no worries. When making changes, there is an element of "fake it 'til you make it", that works for me. Let me try and explain my non professional, it works for me, worth trying theory. Sometimes we have to convince our psyche, by our actions, that we truly want to accomplish something. For example... several months ago I made the decision I wanted to get healthier! I came up with a plan for eating healthier, making more time for mindful living and exercising...AT ALL!

However, starting with all good intentions and a plan that I thought felt right for me, I became stagnant on something like day 3. My dream and vision of wanting to build lung capacity and feel a bit toner...ok toned at all, frequently flashed in front of my eyes and I realized I had to tweak my plan and tame the pressure I put on myself to stay on track. I knew I wanted this but lost motivation so quickly. So I revised my plan. I told myself for 2 WEEKS ONLY I would make wise food choices, meditate more consistently and exercise. If no changes physically or mentally that was it..... I'd bail! During those two weeks I "faked it." with salads, protein and smaller servings. I dragged my sorry butt out of bed in the mornings and went downstairs to the treadmill. Telling myself this was going to make a difference (again "faking it" big time....while convinced this was all a form of self torture and a waste of time)

Winding down of week 2 it started to happen, I had more energy! clearer thoughts! and a bit easier breathing! Damn I was going to have to continue the faking for another two weeks....then it gradually started to happen, as I hit weeks seven and eight, the effort was less...the results were more....better breathing.....much clearer thinking. Fast forward to 6 months later now and my original plan has morphed into a way of Life for me. I've developed my own tricks for sticking with it. Not always easy mind you, but I realize first hand that I'm making a difference that I feel is worth the work. There is a piece of not letting myself down and that feels real good.

So here is the thing Dear Readers. Give it a try in this September New Year. Select something that you would like to accomplish, a house project, learn a language, volunteer for a non profit, healthier living choices, explore a hobby or interest. Whatever YOU want to add to your Life.You are driving the bus! List out the steps to get there. Adjust as you go, keeping it a match for you. "Fake it" with your actions as you try it on for size. If at two weeks it's an all over "hell no" and you can't find any rewards for the effort, even after you have dug really deep deep...let it go and move on to something else. Heck I joined a gym and declared my own three month trial and found it just wasn't for me. Now I make that part happen at home. 

You've got this!!

As always feel free to message me at mhplus2@msn.com if you need someone to bounce ideas around with or a cheerleader to keep you going.

                       The beauty is YOU can add things to your Life.....
                               to enhance and ultimately embrace!